Working on an important project? Hire a professional writer to make you look great. Speeches, ad copy or even whole books -- done with a unique flair.

My goal is to make you look good. Your presentation will sparkle and be remembered.

What kinds of stuff can you create?
I have done jokes, gags, short sketches, button slogans, single lines for performers, 15 pages of gags for a radio show, custom shows and characters, (Plus ad copy, brochures, speeches, brain stormed software titles for a game company, direct mail, web pages, and dozens of other projects.) ... but whatever your project is, I can write it.

How fast can you write...?
Depends how fast you need it. I can deliver same day material if you have e-mail or a fax. Most ideas take 36-72 hours to develop. More time is better for stronger, more polished material. A larger presentation takes 2-8 weeks. For a book or a movie, figure about a year, start to finish.

What do you need to know about my project?
Information is good. Stuff that helps is; where do you want to use the writing (speech to stockholders, radio, in your show, in a newsletter, etc.),and who it is for (the audience). If you have a deadline, let me know that. . I can polish your thoughts or create totally new stuff. My contact information is at the bottom of the page.

What do you charge for your writing?
It varies. It depends on how much you need done, how soon, and how many re-writes you’ll need. Writing is a professional service. On average, more than your paper boy, less than your doctor.

Can you...?
Yes. If it involves written or creative work, I can probably do it. I am especially good at comic pieces, writing for theater and presentations, jokes, and topical material. E-mail me a description of your project and we’ll go from there.

Why shouldn’t I just write it myself?
Good point. Writing is a basic skill that we all learn in school. You could write it yourself. You could also change the oil in your car yourself. But that would be messy, time consuming and might void your warranty (or your car’s). However, if you want a little extra spark, or have it be a bit funnier or you would rather spend your time elsewhere, call me.

Why humor?
Humor is a great way to communicate. If you want to get the attention of your customers or workers, use humor.

Does it have to be something funny?
No. At your request, I can write regular sell copy. Boring, plain words that do little more than sell your services or product or publicize your event...and make you rich beyond your wildest dreams. But you have to ask.

Do you have references? Samples of your work I can see?
Yes to both. I’ve written material for Prairie Home Companion, Ephemera Button Co., Backpacker magazine, Hennepin parks, The Passing Zone Juggling team, JUGGLE Magazine, the Minnesota Renaissance Festival, KSJN morning show and others.

Wow. This sounds perfect! How do I get started?
Send me a description of what you need. Contact information at the bottom of the page. I’ll get back to you with an idea of what it might cost, how long it will take and some questions to get me started.

No. Seriously. I need it yesterday. Can you do that?
Yes. I can write for a deadline that has already passed. At my double platinum rate (that’s a lot).

What about teaching writing and creativity, do you do that?
Creativity in the work place,... a workshop. Reducing stress , problem solving, productivity , diversity, better, faster ideas. Solutions. Having worked as a writer, entertainer, producer, businessperson and parent, I have a lot of insight into creativity – esp for business. Workshops are available on a variety of topics.

I heard you have some sort of wacky guarantee. What’s that?
Simple. The customer is right. You are happy with the work or you don’t pay.


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